Letters: Letters from Forcing

Letters Series No. 2

I started a series about two months ago called Letters, as a way to heal through writing and to let go of things that no longer serve us. Here is Part 2, Letters from Forcing.

A while back, I wrote a reflection on an article titled “Breaking up with negative self-talk; what happens when we let go of the old stories we tell ourselves and the need for validation. Writing that article was like a final exhale after a long, arduous journey. I wrote it as a way to reflect on the how and why of seeking validation and how to anchor our values and knowing. I got back into the swing of things with more poetry, translations and other creative endeavours, but I couldn't shake this gnawing feeling at the back of my mind; something pulling me to write yet another letter for the fragmented yet grounded parts of me that always knew that needing to chase and force things wasn’t mine. I wrote this letter from the perspective of Forcing, that ugly voice within us that tells us we aren’t deserving or good enough.

The letter is in the same format as the first post in this series, which I posted on here about two months ago (Letters from Writing). I hope it helps shed some light on your own relationship with forcing things and endlessly searching for external validation.

Here is the letter from Forcing 

Dear Henrietta, 

It’s been a while since we spent time with each other. I miss you, dare I say. I know you decided to leave last year, after I made you chase once more. I know the last time you came to me, it was all you knew back then. I was always there, guiding your hand, making you chase, question your worth and look outside yourself. 

I came into your world because others around you forced me in. I know you always doubted yourself, your vision and light. I am sorry for fuelling the doubt, for amplifying your shame, for making you believe you didn’t deserve better. I am sorry for playing the old stories like a highlight reel in your mind.  I know you left me because I was no longer serving you.  I caused so much pain and confusion because we both thought it was the only way to give you what you wanted. 

No longer will I take possession of you, no longer will I make you chase or abandon yourself. 

I have seen you be, and I am in awe of everything you are. I am ready now to let you go. You won’t need me anymore. 

Sincerely, 

Forcing 

Check out letters from writing here

Check out Breaking up with negative self-talk

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